New Year, New Me.

While some banter and bash those who, running up to the new year, posted ‘New Year, New Me’ on their status’ of social media, I am all for it.

I mean, yes you could change any aspect of your life at any given moment but, for me, there’s something pure about a New Year. I’ve yet to work out what it is, but it sure gives me a motivational push.

For years I had made social new years resolutions; socialise more, make more friends, do more things etc. This year I want to focus on me.

After the 2014 I had, I am drained, physically, mentally and spiritually. It was definitely an experience, I lost friends, I lost a partner and I for a short while lost myself. I had hit rick bottom. Although it had been hard to ask for advice or help, I randomly bumped into a friend from university and we spoke ever so casually and our conversation shifted. And I found myself speaking of things I dared not tell a soul in fear of how they’d view me. I was talking to someone and they were understanding, they were listening, I felt relived. A little conversation had made me smile from within. A place that had been filled with so much negativity and darkness now had light.

This stood out to me. Someone who I wouldn’t have gone and spoke to helped me see better days. Whereas, those I trusted for so long only acknowledge that I’m talking to them not the depth or seriousness of the problem or situation. I spoke to my friends and asked for help and many were too busy to listen and never got back to me for months. By force I was on my own and those who I had trusted had let me down. I sent them messages to know how I felt and why I thought that we should no longer be friends and I still have no reply. Sometimes that is just how things go.

I couldn’t be more pumped to start this new year and to build new friendships and to find inner peace and happiness. It’s not going to be easy and just four days into the new year, I find myself craving what I had, what I was used to. But I deserve and need to be surrounded by better people and better energy. It sure is a hard thing to break habit, to not do what you have been used to doing for so long but there would be no personal growth if you stuck to the same old same old everyday, every month, every year.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, I couldn’t be happier for a chance to have a year, a whole year that I can control from start to finish. The people I have in my life to the people I don’t have in my life the things that I do and don’t do etc. 365 days of doing what I want, for my benefit and no one else’s.

So cheers everyone, here’s to a new year and a new me !

        **   HAPPY NEW YEAR   **